InsaneJournal

Entry #D-10: "Decahedron"
[audio recording]



Even in my situation, even now, I have options. I can't allow myself to forget that.

What I want, in a nutshell, is to complete the first trial with Blythe safe. If possible, I would also like to keep my own life.


So. In order, from highest priority to lowest, the things I want to keep safe are:
1. Blythe (Priority=5/5)
2. Asgard (by winning the trial) (Priority=3/5)
3. Myself (Priority=2/5)

The problem which threatens this is Light's insistence that I sabotage Asgard in order to save Blythe.

Option #1: I can obtain, or feign, an injury that would not allow me to participate in the trial. Possible ways to do this are through "accident,"self-inflicted harm, or asking a powerful member of either team (Kain or Carrion, for instance) to work me over well enough to need recovery.
~Pros: A bad enough injury, and there won't be any question about my inability to participate.
~Cons: Kain, even if he agreed to this, would not be well-received by other members of Asgard for hurting me. I think it's widely assumed that I'm too intelligent to have any sort of "accident" befall me, and an injury might be seen by some as an effort to get out of working.

Option #2: I can feign illness, or actually become ill. I'm certainly worn out enough to look the part, and I can poison myself to create a very real "disease."
~Pros: Especially if I can be/look "contagious," no one should bother me or ask me for help with the trial. Blythe would spend a great deal of time with me, presumably, and I could know that she is safe.
~Cons: Extremely risky; it would be difficult to control or monitor symptoms, meaning that any purposely contracted illness could quickly become far more serious than I'd originally intended. Could result in my death, and Blythe's grief. This is even more dangerous than the "injury" suggestion. Also, I doubt that this would fool Light.

Option #3: I could tell Frank about this whole thing.
~Pros: He'd listen, understand, and be concerned. He'd give me good advice, most likely, and try to help.
~Cons: Um... none, actually. I suppose that getting Frank involved would be inconsiderate to his overall welfare, but I'm also fairly certain that he'd prefer to know rather than not know what is really going on.

Option #4: I could kill Light.
Pros: This would solve all of my immediate problems.
Cons: This would also infuriate the other team. While Mello would support the move, he's hardly well-liked over there. I'd probably be killed eventually, along with those I care about. I also can't rule out the threat that Sal poses, or the possibility that he/she knows what Light knows.

Option #5: I could tell Metatron about this whole thing.
~Pros: I might be able to obtain help from the source of much of my trouble.
~Cons: He most likely would refuse or be unable to help me in any real way, since interference is forbidden for the entities in charge of this affair.

Option #6: I could die.
~Pros: Would, with the notable exception of my third priority, solve all my immediate problems. Blythe would most likely be safe, and Light Yagami's strategy to sabotage Asgard would be compromised. Numerically, combining Blythe's priority and Asgard's, this would come out to a desirability of 160%, which is, so far, the best outcome.
~Cons: This would devastate Blythe and Dorian, and probably upset Frank as well. Also, I would far prefer to live.

Option #7: I could convince Carrion to help me.
~Pros: He dislikes Light, and enjoys tormenting others. Through some method, he could doubtless imprison or incapacitate me to the point where I'm comatose or appear mad.
~Cons: There's a chance that I would come out more damaged than I'd intended. I could also be killed by Carrion, or he could refuse to help me. This should be considered a last resort, right before my own death.

Option #8: I could do as Light says, and sabotage Asgard during the first trial by misleading the others with credible but faulty information.
~Pros: Blythe would be safe, for the present, and would remain so if Light keeps his word. This is obviously my top priority, keeping Blythe safe.
~Cons: Light might not keep his word, and if Asgard is sabotaged, there is a good chance that Blythe and everyone else will die, anyway. This option should be avoided as long as possible.

Option #9: I could ignore Light's warning, and give the trial my all.
~Pros: I would ensure the survival and success of my team, therefore Blythe and myself.
~Cons: Light and his allies would doubtless be vengeful.