InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I live for Snape!"

luke_lawliet (luke_lawliet) wrote,
@ 2008-07-06 14:33:00

Entry tags:

l blythe light asgard

Entry #D-9: "Deadliest"
[audio recording]

I wanted a beautiful death, but the fates were petty.
I prayed for him to falter,
For an oversight to justify the blame...
None came.
I faltered, and was not blameless, stretching forth
Icicle fingers.
I wanted to touch lightning,
As Thunder rolled and sullied Snow,
To taste the sweetest truth
Since red flesh tempted Eveʼs
Most adulterous caress.
But lightning was not on my mind
The day, bang, bang! He shot me down,
A bloody sunset kissed by steel,
Melting the snow after I lingered too long
On the cobwebbed ice...?

He left me no choice but his truth to condone,
As I faltered, and faded, and passed alone.

The fates were petty.

I have a choice. It's one I don't want to make. It's probably the most difficult I've ever had to.

Three options. Asgard, Blythe, or myself. It's one of them, or all.

I must think about this. Maybe take a hot shower, like Henry said. Or listen to Frank, whose advice I cling to.

There is a gaping chasm of a difference between truth and what one wishes to hear. A good man knows which to choose, regardless of his own desires, whereas a fool will seek only sweet words that reaffirm his own wants.

Please alert me if anyone intends to enter the room I share with Frank.

(Post a new comment)

	mello_keehl 2008-07-06 08:15 pm UTC (link)
	A truly profound realization. My God, your words have changed my life! NOT. What the fuck, L? You could at least make your stupid journal entries hackable to me! (Reply to this)

	heaven_within 2008-07-06 11:44 pm UTC (link)
	Is there a truth you seek, Ryuzaki...? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-06 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Just the same we all seek... Please tell me that Asgard is prepared for the first trial. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heaven_within 2008-07-07 12:13 am UTC (link)
	Yes. I believe we are capable of winning this trial. [Private to Ryuzaki] Be careful, however. Others may attempt to prevent you from filling out your task. I mean 'you' as in...all the ones chosen for this trial. [/Private] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 06:11 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Your confidence reassures me. [private to Metatron] I know this better than anyone. You needn't be afraid that I'll be caught off-guard. [/end private] (Reply to this) (Parent)

	blind_oracle 2008-07-07 12:24 am UTC (link)
	Is...is something the matter? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 06:12 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Yes. Something is. But you've done nothing wrong, I promise. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	my_private_life 2008-07-07 01:28 am UTC (link)
	I don't know. I...don't think wanting to hear what you want to hear makes a person a fool. I think...it makes them human. It's not easy to just ignore what we want, you know? But... I figure as long as someone does their best.... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 06:49 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] ... The best is all we can do, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	my_private_life 2008-07-07 06:53 pm UTC (link)
	Well, yeah. And... we can just hope that we're really looking at thins clearly, you know? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 06:55 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Yes. Hope is another thing we can do, along with our "best." Why are our assets so arbitrary? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	my_private_life 2008-07-07 06:57 pm UTC (link)
	I think hope is...something we need. What do you mean? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 07:01 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Oh, sure, everyone needs it. Hope is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul... I'm just saying that it's hard to win a war with abstract things like moral superiority and optimism. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

my_private_life
2008-07-07 07:04 pm UTC (link)

I'm uh, not really much for poetry, but yeah, I've heard that before.

I don't think it is. I mean, if you win without taking the moral way, is it even really a win? Or just... a defeat you came out on top of? I mean, we're fighting for the entire future of every world out there. And we're fighting for God and Heaven. I... don't think it would really count, if we didn't fight right.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 07:08 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] They say that it's always darkest before the dawn... but in real life, the good guys don't always win. In fact, they seldom do. But you're right. Of course. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	my_private_life 2008-07-07 07:18 pm UTC (link)
	Well, they're...right. It is worst before the end. But... I think good guys win a lot more than we realize. But... in the end. And you have to wonder if winning after losing so much even... makes it worthwhile. (Reply to this) (Parent)

franksunderland
2008-07-07 02:42 am UTC (link)

Metatron made... magic, I suppose, so that no one from Niflheim can get into Asgard.

But I'll keep my eye out for anything suspicious, Ryuzaki.

[Private to L]I don't disagree with Mr. Townshend, that you're only human to want to hear something. But if you know something is what you want but it isn't for the best, well, that's an important thing to realize. I don't mean to confuse you though, if this has to do with what we spoke about before. Because when another person involved, you have to know what they want too.[/Private]

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 06:52 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Is that so? I cannot properly express my relief. That's... some burden, off my mind, at least. Thank you. [private to Frank]: I believe that I have been selfish. And more than a fool. Right now, what I want can only hurt others... and I'm... sorry. I can't talk about this. [/] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	franksunderland 2008-07-07 07:20 pm UTC (link)
	[private to L]: I understand. Just let me know if you need any help, Luke.[/private] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 07:24 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] [private to Frank] I will. Though, just knowing that you're there is a great help, Frank. ...I've been blackmailed. I have to find a way out of the first trial. [/private] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

franksunderland
2008-07-07 07:33 pm UTC (link)

[Private to L]Blackmailed? This has to do with what you spoke of before, about Blythe? That's ... horrible. Do you think Metatron could help?

They must want you off the first trial because of your mind.

We... have to protect Blythe. She'd better not leave Asgard for now. [/private]

[OOC: Franks suspects who the blackmailer might be, but he doesn't want to bring it up.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private Between Frank and L luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 08:16 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] I'm glad I told you, but it's risking a lot... you understand that. They actually want me to be involved... but that's why I feel I need to find a way out. Yes. Blythe is the first priority. If anything happened to her, I'd... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Private Between Frank and L franksunderland 2008-07-07 08:23 pm UTC (link)
	You can trust me. But... they can't do this to you. And they can't trap you into betraying Asgard. I just wish I were more help. I'll be sure to keep an eye on Blythe, and... if there's anything else I can do please tell me. I... I'm angry that they're doing this to you, and to Blythe. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	givemefood 2008-07-07 04:26 am UTC (link)
	There's truth and there's what you want. And then there's changing things so that the truth IS what you want. Sitting around and letting things stay a certain way is pointless! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 06:54 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Yes... yes, that's definitely one way to put it, Lina. Change is the only constant in this world, so that makes a great deal of sense. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	givemefood 2008-07-07 07:02 pm UTC (link)
	Heheh. Don't get all depressed and try to solve things on your own like Zel, okay? If you're saying this stuff because you're questioning something, we're all here together and all. [ooc: Lina has no idea what's on L's mind, she's just guessing he's kind of similar to an old friend of hers.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 07:06 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Don't worry. My moods are seldom "boisterous," but I'm not depressed. I don't know who Zel is. But I will work things through, with the grace of others if needed. I promise I won't let anything on my mind destroy the group's solidarity. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	givemefood 2008-07-07 07:27 pm UTC (link)
	Oh! Eh, Zel is a friend of mine. He's not here. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	holylance 2008-07-07 08:23 pm UTC (link)
	... [Private to L] Is something wrong? [/Private] (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Private Between L and Kain luke_lawliet 2008-07-07 09:37 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Yes. But I shouldn't talk about it. Ask Frank; he knows, but I can't risk saying anything more on open channels, even if they're privately coded. Above all, please just make sure that, whatever happens, Blythe remains safe. And... should I be unable to in the near future... take good care of her, will you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Private Between L and Kain holylance 2008-07-08 01:37 am UTC (link)
	Ryuaki, you... ... Understood. I will do as you ask. But if there was anything I could do to help, you'd tell me, wouldn't you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Private Between L and Kain luke_lawliet 2008-07-08 12:12 pm UTC (link)
	[audio recording] Thank you. Yes. Yes, I'd tell you. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	firstofsix 2008-07-08 01:08 am UTC (link)
	Yes, but you can always make what you want to hear the truth. (Reply to this)